Is the Inlaw rumor true?

When I first met Mr.Awesome I was very hesitant to speak up about things…anything really. I would let people walk all over me and just make excuses for why they did. Sometimes it had a negative effect on me, and other times, if I was lucky it didn’t really affect me…thank you God. Then Mr. Awesome spoke up and said I needed to start standing up for myself and speaking up when things need to be addressed. Of course I couldn’t just change my ways immediately, but I was up for trying it….it definitely didn’t come easy. Then little by little it got easier. I started to see how much better I felt standing up for myself and what I believe in that it started coming a little easier.

Fast forward to today. I’ve been married for 3 years and I have a 19 month old. I’ve been pretty open to constructive criticism on how to raise my son and I have also shared a lot, if not all his important childhood milestones to date with family and friends. I can handle a lot, but a few things I cannot handle, and frankly I shouldn’t have to because I’m his mom and Mr. Awesome is his dad and we shouldn’t have to answer to anyone on the decisions we make for our son or our family. Call us bad parents, but we don’t panic when BA1 has a cough, or when he’s on his 5th antibiotic in 19 months, or when his cheeks get red when he is super active, or gets warm. We know kids get sick when they are in daycare all the time, we know doctor’s would tell us if they were concerned about the number of antibiotics he’s been on and we already know he has excema and while we apply lotion it’s not a life or death matter and it doesn’t bother him. We take him out way past his bedtime, we let him eat sweets, we let him play outside even if it’s a little to warm out and we even let him jump off the couch if he wants (gasp), but he’s a boy…a healthy, happy and very smart little boy who loves to cuddle, talks your ear off and is going non-stop 24 hours a day. We are good parents. We aren’t perfect parents, but neither were our parents or their parent’s parents. We love our son and would never willingly put him in harms way. Why do people have such a hard time understanding this???

Back to the real reason for this post. My MIL over-reacts..a lot…and she gets upset with us when we say something about it. So I finally said something and now she is ignoring me…it’s like walking on eggshells around her. At first it didn’t bother me, whatever, I have too much stress in my life courtesy of my job to have to deal with this too. Now, it just angers me because she wants to see BA1 but she won’t call me and ask. She only calls Mr. Awesome. I am his mom and I’m not going to make an effort to get BA1 over to see you if you are going to treat me like that. I also don’t think this is something I need to address, I think it’s Mr.Awesome's responsibility. If my mom was making him uncomfortable I would most definitely talk to her. I’ve done it before with my grandma who likes to push off her religious beliefs on Mr. Awesome and I’d do it again if I had to. I have no desire to do anything that involves me being around her and that’s unfortunate because if I’m not there BA1 won’t always be there. So what do you think? Mr. Awesome needs to speak up, or do I just carry on the way I’m doing now and not let it stress me out?

Valuable Information

This will be a short but sweet post.....As those of you who read this blog know for my birthday I got my very first JU JU BE diaper bag..I LOVE IT...and have since been looking for the next size bigger one for traveling purposes...but they are super expensive!! Anyways a friend recommended this online store Little Dudes and Divas and I LOVE IT.....they are the most reasonable around that I have found and they also have a HUGE selection of lots of cool stuff..including JU JU BE.....Infact, there monthly special is the JU JU BE Packabe Dizzy Daisies Design...love it!

Go here and check it out....http://www.littledudesanddivas.com

AND you can follow them on facebook!

Happy Shopping!

The worst thing in the world....

Have you ever been so stressed out that you can’t even write things down? Ugh..I hate that feeling, and I’m just like my dad when it comes to that stuff…meaning…I worry worry worry..then 2 weeks later..I’m done worrying..only to start over with the worrying about a month later.

So Mr. Awesome is working again! WOO HOO! It feels like when he started working we should have had sooo much more money than we did when he was unemployed…wrong-o. It’s no secret we have loads and loads of credit card debt..which is OUR FAULT… (more-so mine since I carry mine from college) but it’s like how do we possibly pay stuff off if we have hardly anything extra at the end of the month to put forth to it? It’s a vicious cycle. You don’t want to NOT pay certain bills because it ruins your credit and eventually we will need a new car, new house, etc and we won’t be able to get one with a tarnished credit history, and honestly, who wants to NOT pay their bills and get rid of them? I just wish someone would randomly leave an envelope of money or a check on our doorstep to put toward some bills!!!!

I’ve thought about this long and hard and while it sucks right now I’m not going to let it ruin my life. I’m not going to put my life on hold while we pay off debt. My life would be on hold for years and that’s not a fun way to live.

I just wish things were different in that aspect. I wish we had a hefty savings. I wish we had no credit card debt! I wish I never accumulated as much student loan debt either!!!! Ugh…

Sorry for the rant. I just needed to get it off my chest!

HELP!

Mr. Awesome and me have embarked on a weight loss competition, and while I am super proud of him because he is doing so well, I’m very upset with myself. I cannot for the life of me lose weight. I tried sticking to a very strict diet a month ago and I lost 2lbs in one week…continued on it for another week and lost nothing, same story the following week. It got to be real old real quick. I tried and tried, but seriously it depresses you when you don’t see any pounds falling off. Which leads me to my next problem. When I don’t see any weight coming off, I stray from my diet because my state of mind is why eat healthy and miss out on the “good stuff” if it’s not helping, which is totally the wrong state of mind. Ugh…I think I need to see drastic results or I’m going to be in this funk forever.

It’s really taking its toll on me this time, mainly because I feel lousy. I am dealing with a not very fun, or flattering haircut which happened about a month ago and now needs to grow back out before anything decent can be done with it, a lousy diet that’s not working and just an overall feeling of being unappealing and it’s sucking my energy and my good moods right out of me. I just feel gross. I don’t Mr. Awesome to be repulsed by me nor do I want others to be either, and that’s what I’m thinking is happening right now…I need some serious motivation…..Anybody have any tips?

And then there was 1...

It's no secret we have a very un-trainable dog..who jumps are fence and runs away several times a month, sometimes less. We also have another dog, SAME KIND, SAME BREED, SAME LITTER who never even attempts to run away even if you leave the gate open for a brief second...well today the dog with 9 lives (actually more like 24) ran away AGAIN....and this time she wasn't so lucky..no one has picked her up and taken her to the Humane Society and no one has picked her up and taken her to the police station...like some of the times before....I'm not happy about it..but I'm jsut so frustrated because it happens sooo often and nothing has been done to fix it...I wanted to go along with my parents recommendation and getting a fenced in area for her to go in when she goes outside that she can't get out of and Mr. Awesome didn't want that because it wouldn't look good in the yard.
Yes, it's going to be hard for our other dog to adjust without the other, but we did what we could do by looking for her, calling and putting in missing dog reports, and nothing has come of it. It's cold, we live by some busy streets, there is nothing we can really do anymore.

What I hate is that Mr. Awesome is moping around and barely saying 2 words to me, keeps looking out the window to see if he can see her. I don't know if he's upset with me for not acting like I care or what, but it's not fair. I have cared too much and I gave up on that 5 times ago when she ran away. I trusted that Mr. Awesomes idea to keep her in the yard was going to work, I gave up on the fenced in kennel outside after he repeatedly told me no...I just don't have the time or energy to worry everytime I let her outside...It gets very frustrating....frustrated with the dog and Mr. Awesome.

Yes, I hope she miraculously comes home, but I'm not going to mope about it because that dog has cost us way more than she should have, caused me stress that I don't need and basically just has been a pain with this running away garbage. But you can bet your butt that if and when she comes home we WILL be getting a fenced in cage in our yard for her...Mr.Awesome can be mad at me forever but at least he will have his dog.

What a selfish little.....

We ended 2009 on a bad note…but I decided to change my attitude and let 2010 (while still filled with one major struggle) start off on a good note…I can’t lie since 2010started many things that could have gone wrong have NOT…so there is a plus already….Up until the other day I felt really good about my new attitude. Before Mr. Awesome was laid off back in June 09 we had a tentative plan of wanting to keep our kids 2 years apart. Nothing was in stone and we were both definitely able to change our minds, but 2 years seemed good. I didn’t want to get out of the “baby ways” only to start all over again. I wanted to keep things as close together as we could manage. After Mr. A got laid off I still wasn’t panicked about it interrupting our family plans because after all we weren’t ready to have another yet anyways and he would surely have a job by the time that came around. Now it’s February and Mr. A is still unemployed and it’s starting to get to me..not that he is unemployed so much (although I would love for him to have a job) but the fact that people around me who were pregnant when I was pregnant with BA1 are now pregnant with their second, our friends are starting to get pregnant and it would be super nice to have kids close in age so when we get together they can play.

I’m super happy for all the people around me who are pregnant for the first time as well as the 2nd and even the 4TH, but a part of me feels like I could be more excited, no I should be more excited for them. I’m not selfish by any means, but I feel it right now. It’s such a yuck feeling. I’m having so much fun with BA1 and am focusing on that, but I miss his baby phase..(If you would have asked me if I could see myself missing this 3 weeks after BA1 was born I would have laughed at you).

I know we will have another baby, but my positive outlook transformation has taken a nose dive while I am bummed about not being able to try now. Does this make me a bad person?

I wish I was 10 again...

Remember when you were young and it was OK to make and hand out "birthday lists?" I wish I could still do that without the feeling that I am being greedy and selfish and expecting things..ha...with that being said I never really ask for anything, at Christmas, for birthdays, etc..but this year...I'm not going to lie there are a few things that have caught my eye that have made me wish I was 10 again so I could create my ideal birthday list and hand it out to all. Well, I'm not 10 and it certainly isn't appropriate to make a list and hand it out, but I can share it with all of you since all the things I want are super cool (I think) and maybe it will persuade you to purchase one for yourself..or me of course..ha :)

First off..we all know women who are moms ALWAYS ask for things for their kids..I think since BA1 was born I have bought maybe 10 things for myself and 1 billion things for him....it's just one of the things that happens when you become a mom...well this is my ONE item for BA1...


Ju Ju Be--be all Diaper Bag--BA1's diaper bag is ruined...those things truly do get beat to hell..I have managed to break 2 zippers, rip about 8 pockets and can't tell you how many times I ripped the bag because it's cheap plastic and gets caught on EVERYTHING...this bag, while expensive will last a lifetime (or is MR.Awesome gives in--through 4-5 kids) ha


My second thing is just a practical gift..I like to send little notecards to people and this online company is AMAZING...She gets 100% of my business for any stationary needs.



And how super cute are these.....???

It's no secret I CARRY ALOT of bags to and from work...and I need a new one, as my current one says the name of BA1's daycare center on it...so uncool, huh? How about this one...LL Bean online carries these and I love them and would like one in the MEDIUM size..



I can't have a wish list without including something that Mr. Awesome would benefit from as well...but I must admit..I share in his frustration with our spice cabinet...we DEFINATELY need a spice rack...



And Kohls always comes through for me on the home stuff....16 jars...and a decent price..PERFECT.

I also need some new perfume...I got one from Christmas but would really like at least one more...any suggestions on a new fragrance I may like..I like a little citrus in my fragrances, and a little clean scent as well. One of my favorites I want to buy now is LOLA....



And last but not least..I need..scratch that...WANT these super cute slippers...jsut because I want...and for no other reason..haha..God I love LL Bean.


This is my list...I could mimic my yonger sister and make sure I put prices as well as locations these can be purchased, but I don't think I can get away with that..since I am 26..not 10 anymore..hehe